From Jewels Heart
Romantic love is fleeting love, the love we see on the movie screen or read about in books. It's an emotional story line depicting lovers struggling to keep love alive -- to overcome obstacles, to face socioeconomic, racial, or physical challenges. While not all love stories end happily, we watch expectantly, holding on, hoping to experience glimpses of passion through love scenes. We wish to soak up love vicariously through others.
Many of us struggle to open our hearts; we find it difficult to give and/or receive love freely. We may fail to find sustaining love and passion in our daily lives. So, we seek to fill this void with pleasures outside of the self. Food might satisfy love cravings. Alcohol may serve as a substitute. Shopping can give a temporary thrill. But these indulgences, although temporarily satisfying, come at a price. Overindulgence in food can lead to obesity, dependence on alcohol can be addictive and is a gateway to other addictions, while new purchases quickly fade, especially when it comes to bill-paying time.
So how can we find love? How can we feel like the carefree teens whose stomachs flip flopped at the slightest touch? How can we feel fulfilled and happy?
STOP. Authentic love comes when we stop searching -- when we stop to remember who we are. Love is already possessed and must be experienced from within. We cannot love generously without first reaching within.
Find quiet space to sit – to breathe – to ask ourselves questions, to revisit old hurts and to make amends. Only by forgiving others for hurts we feel they've caused us and by forgiving ourselves for allowing ourselves to feel hurt can we move on -- to move on towards loving ourselves in the here and now.
Freeing ourselves from the bondage of the past lets us live now -- living only starts when we choose to forgive.
Loving the Self is the key. Unlocking the heart is not so easy. An open heart can interact honestly -- willingly, non-defensively. When our heart is open, we are more willing to spend time with ourselves and with others. We may even be able to truly enjoy the company of others. Loving the self puts an end to desiring empty relationships -- there's no longer a need to search -- for popularity, for acceptance, for reassurance or for anything for that matter. For authentic love is blissful joy found from within.
What does it mean to love yourself?
Loving yourself is not a conceited way to love. I'm not suggesting that you boast as being the best, most beautifully talented person on earth. I'm not encouraging promoting a cyber image flaunted on Facebook. Loving the self simply means going within to take stock of who you are.
For only by embracing truths from Scripture about who I am can I become stable, grateful, and fully assured of who I am in this ever-changing world.
Remembering who I am spiritually makes living physically easier. Balancing who I am, both spiritually and physically, helps me rediscover unconditional, blissful love.
Asking why I am here helps me to find greater meaning. Each of us has the right to think and to believe as he chooses. However, I find believing in a higher Self, a greater power, a magnificent Creator and energy who has created me in His image to make living this physical life easier. I do not have to carry so much weight, to take all of the burden knowing He has my back. Taking time for asking questions, for questioning my purpose in life, for dialoging openly with Him, brings me peace and ease. For acknowledging my true Source of energy, knowing that it flows within and without, allows me to surrender my will and to trust in Who I Am.
When faced with understanding LOVE, I remember who I am.
For I AM:
• I am a child of God - and because I believe in his name--he has given me the right to become one of God's children … (John 1:12)
I am God's child.
I am Jesus' friend.
I am a whole new person with a whole new life.
2 Corinthians 5:17
I am a place where God's Spirit lives.
1 Corinthians 6:19
I am God's Incredible work of art.
I am totally and completely forgiven.
1 John 1:9
I am created In God's likeness.
I am spiritually alive.
I am a citizen of Heaven.
I am God's messenger to the world.
I am God's disciple-maker.
I am the salt of the earth.
I am the light of the world.
I am greatly loved.
What more do I need. By acknowledging who I am, I permit myself to be free - to give up blaming, to stop resisting, to realize that I am all of His attributes. For without fear, I may continue growing and expanding spiritually while living feeling supported physically - For without fear, I learn -- I learn the need to let go of guilt, jealously, anger, and doubt, to do away with all of the mercurial emotions embedded in this earthly journey. Because in Spirit, there are no ups and downs, there is no more imprisonment to moods, for I now know who I am. In this knowing, I am unafraid. I am unafraid to ask and unafraid to listen -- For listening to my thoughts, to my body, and to my heart brings me closer to realizing who I truly am.
So I ask. I continue to ask questions.
Asking questions takes time. Patience. Courage. Trust. Faith. I now take time to talk with my higher Self, to explore my heart, to pause. For when I stop all of the busyness, I find rest. With patience and in time, I am learning how to listen. Listening helps me hear my answers.
Our greatest work is performed when we relax, when we learn to trust, when we allow Him to take all of our worries in the knowing that He will provide the perfect outcome.
Self love really starts by letting go of all the negative so there's room for God to do His work.
Authentic love is love that does not blame others for pain. It's love that allows opening up, the mind and the heart, for understanding the lessons that pain brings. Love is truly listening with the inner heart, without judgment of self or others. Love is having faith in God and surrendering to Him for all things that are out of our control.
We all can begin loving ourselves today -- starting a new beginning -- beginning by forgiving ourselves for forgetting who we are. All we really have to do is to ask for what we really want, AND THEN, just listen.
We must make room for listening -- to listen to how we have been speaking to ourselves so that we can recognize and change our negative patterns of self talk.
Whenever a negative thought comes to mind, practice mentally saying, "Delete. Delete. Cancel thought." Replace all negative thoughts with Sacred truths or make up a positive saying such as: "I am a beautiful spark of the Divine, created in pure unconditional love. Unconditional love and light constantly flows through and from me, cleansing me of negativity, making room for God to do His work."
Practice. Practice. Practice. Nip criticizing thoughts in the bud. Create new grooves, practice new ways of thinking and behaving. Try this for one week. Become your own best companion. Be gentle, kind, loving, and forgiving with yourself so you can fill your heart up with unconditional love, with Sacred Truths to remember who you are. Don't waste any more time waiting for the world to love you.
It's time to make a new beginning in love -- with self love. Remember Who You Are -- You are Love.