Knowing that I am a co-creator of my reality and that I'm living in a vibrational universe that's always bringing me what I'm looking for, consciously aware or not, makes everything easier. It's a fact. It's science. It's the law of attraction. Experience, not books, has taught me the hard way that it's easier for me to become a conscious being who can tap within and gain access for attracting a delicious life. Relaxing into life, doing away with resistance, allows my inner being to flow freely with Source, for recognizing the positive aspects of life and for appreciating all things that come my way.
Intentionally asking for what I want, believing that it's already been given, along with the willingness or desire to fully resonate with what I already know and who I already am lets life yield answers to all my questions. Identifying something I want and preparing myself for receiving it is exciting since I am willing to say yes and really mean it. Trusting in the universe, knowing that it's only a matter of time until I'm fully aligned and consistently soaring, brings hope for life's magic. When soaring, everything that's not serving my greatest good or that is outside of my vibrational field, naturally falls away as I keep choosing to keep momentum for flying high.
Asking for what I want or recognizing what I truly desire hasn't come easily. I was conditioned into believing that being single-mindedly focused was selfish. I wasn't taught how to tap my self or to stay tuned in to my emotions as a youngster. School didn't encourage me to pay attention to my emotions or to care about how I feel. In order to create a wonderful life, I was taught to listen to someone else, to tune outwardly for what the world would bring me if I played along. Like most of us, I learned from my parents and from my teachers that I needed to do certain things or behave in certain ways. If my behavior was pleasing to others, then I got rewarded with their approval. Essentially circumstances and feedback from others distorted my view about who I am and what I want. If I could please my parents by getting good grades, they'd be happy. If I paid attention in class and was an obedient rule-follower, then my teachers would be happy. The only problem with this type of thinking was that while I was busy trying to behave in ways that made others happy, my own self worth, well-being, and happiness was slowly eroding.
As a daughter, sister, wife, and mother, I am fully aware of the attitudes and moods of those around me; however, I am no longer willing to take responsibility for another person's happiness. I am no longer carrying the burden for conditional states occurring outside of me. I have learned to become selfish enough to care about what I want and am intentional about focusing single-mindedly on what I want. In this way, I can thrive by alerting the universe that I am ready to receive. My selfishness does no disservice to others. As a matter of fact, it is my willingness to be selfish about my needs that allows others to thrive along with me. My well-being is my responsibility, and all I have to do is to live up to who I already am. When I align with Source, I can have well being at all levels and my thriving will never deprive another. The universe is so full of everything I want, it always has been; I simply needed to learn the art of allowing.
So today my words are fewer and my experiences, greater. I refuse to spend time up in my old, chattering monkey mind. Instead, I rest and relax my mind and body for allowing my inner being to speak. With less time spent arguing, debating, or teaching, there's space for receiving.
The “old me” or my unrealized self wasted time. I spent time small-talking, chattering with other similarly tuned beings– comparing, competing, complaining, commiserating – wrestling in the muck, so to speak. Back then I never realized that my thoughts created my mood and negative pattern or frame of mind that was attracting words, thoughts, images, people, and experiences that matched vibrationally. I was receiving whatever I was broadcasting. I never gave a second thought about half the things that seemed to be happening to me or around me. I'd dismiss the speeding ticket as bad luck or make the excuse that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,; I thought gossip was the norm or the way moms communicated; and I attributed my frequent bumps and bruises along the way to simply having to do too much with not enough time to get it all done. I blamed. I made excuses. I looked without because I didn't know how to look within.
Always racing here and there, I lived a life that was perpetually stuck in fast-forward. Arriving late more often than not seemed to be who I was. I lived off adrenaline. I played beat the clock, rushing to fold one last load of laundry, vacuum one more bedroom, or to pay one more bill as the minutes quickly dwindled. My rush was often met with obstacles, especially when it came time to picking up my son from school. That dreaded construction truck always seemed to pick me to stop my rush. Unaware and out of touch, I failed to see the messages in those flashing caution lights. Hijacked by emotion, I was incapable of seeing beyond my little self, so full of fear, worry, and anger, I couldn't see how I was contributing to each now experience.
Each one of us is given countless opportunities to see the warning lights stopping us dead in our tracks. Some of us choose to wait longer than others to open up their hearts to see beyond what the physical world is showing us. For me, the enormous pain and grief I experienced losing a baby brought me to the point of wanting more than where I was. Deep feelings of loss led me to start asking questions. I wanted to understand more, beyond what I could only see with my physical eyes. I wanted to believe there was more. I knew, deep down, that there was truly more within me. I just needed to learn how to allow things I want. I needed a way to reorient myself for remembering who I am.
I wanted to create a more positive reality. I wanted to feel hopeful. The world was full of disappointment, enough so that I needed to turn somewhere else to find my way. I had to focus, to ask for what my heart longed for, to open up and allow myself to receive all that I deserve. And that could only happen once I realized that I already possess everything I need within.
I needed to stop trying to be something else for someone else. I had to learn how to recognize how I have been thinking, behaving, and living up until this point. I had to learn how to forgive myself, to approve of myself, and most importantly, to acknowledge Source flowing within and allow it to reflect It's magnificence back to me. Learning how to come back to my Self within has allowed me to come back more and more and more.
Tuning into my own vibrational frequency means paying attention to my emotions. Feeling, not thinking, gets me back on track. If I feel doubtful or am worried, it's a good indicator that I'm on the wrong track. When I'm aligned and right where I'm supposed to be, I feel inspired, ready, excited, and things seem easy. When I am aware and tapped into what's going on within me, I have such momentum that no one or no thing can knock me out of alignment.
Re-discovering who I am brings life alive and invites things, people, and experiences that are ready for me. It's exciting meeting life in this way. I'm choosing to feel good and while most of the world won't be flying with me, it's a delightfully delicious new world with those who are getting on with me.